always ruining something he is. ugh

drama

my little asshole brother left a nasty comment on my pregnancy announcement. saying "wtf why wasn't I told wtf" then I bitched and he said he was joking. I do not take that shit in a jokingly matter. after a few more arguments I said in the most sarcastically way "ctfu your kid got taken away ctfu because it's a joke right" and now every single mother fucker even an almost 40 year old mother wants to beat my ass up. Of course I was wrong to do that but it was in the moment and I'm sure when you're in the moment of something you just don't think too straight about stuff. the stupid brother's girlfriend called me a hoe, ratched and all this other bullshit in the book and then has the nerve to think she wouldn't be involving my child if she beat me to a pulp. no you are affecting my child's life. Aaralyn loves her mommy and she would know something was wrong if something were to happen to me but apparently morons don't get it. All of them say they are gonna beat me up as soon as I'm done with this pregnancy because yes it's okay to beat someone who just had a 2nd child, who just got out of the hospital almost 2-3 days later, who is still bleeding like crazy and what not. one person even commented on her fucking status saying "her face ain't pregnant" and you know my stupid brother even gives permission to his stupid gf to beat my ass.
he even dared to involve aaron into the whole mess. it has and had nothing to do with aaron during our argument. I cannot help your child was taken by ciy and they thought you weren't good parents. mother said they were taken away for good. she says it's a good sign they'll get her back in december. I really don't think these 2 are remotely good parents especially when they are all about the drama and threatening people. oh and his ex gf said "choke a bitch"
yes because all these people are wonderful mothers but say all this bullshit. they all sound horrible if you ask me. I would never tell someone to go choke someone or say I want body parts and all this shit. You can't expect much out of people like this though. they are all the same. Oh and you know my sister who I cut off 2 years ago bitches about how she don't get to see her niece. Well I am not sorry for the way you acted and that you had to be called when I was having my daughter. I did not even think about you during that time so you can hop off. oh and apparently cutting all these negative people is gonna come back to haunt me when I need to run to family members in the time of need. I have never once in my entire life ran to any family member for anything! I have grown up. I am who I am yet the sibling still like to talk shit about my dad and my mom and yet my mom will rush to my brothers side without even thinking. I try to treat my parents with respect especially after those harsh teenage years. I even paid most of the money I borrowed back and yet these siblings who have never paid a time are glorified. I will never understand. But yeah I feel bad, I feel that I may have to worry they're gonna try to beat me up for one little comment I said in an argument. I fear for my children. ugh this is all just bullshit and they just love stirring the pot up! my dad's side of the family is the worse. they all love drama bullshit because you know even savannah rumsey had to get on in it and ask finn if he ever shuts the fuck up. they all need to get off their high horses and step back into reality! cause i am done with all this bullshit and I do not care. If I fucking cut you off from being a part of my life it just means we were never close to begin with and that you fucked it up for yourself. I don't fuck up this shit for myself they do. toxic people are a waste of my time and trust and believe I have no problem living my life without you. let me tell you i feel bad for each and every damn kid that is raised by these parents. these people were not raised right. well I plan on doing a lot fucking better, I am not gonna tell my kids its right to beat someone up over everything and anything.people like this should not be having kids.

small updates I guess

Aaralyn is now 25 months old but I just say she's 2 anymore. She's been a brat or I've been just not been able to handle myself with her lately...either way I am a bit stressed. This week she has continuously kept opening doors during the time Aaron needs to sleep for work or during midnight - 3:00AM. Currently I'm waiting until 6am for Aaron to wake up because I locked the door so Aaralyn would quit. I got tired of chasing her and chasing her every time she did it. She passed out at like 2:30-3AM on the couch. Can't wait to get some shut eye! At the moment I'm trying to find myself something to eat but I feel if I make pbj I won't want to eat it because of the taste of grape jelly :/ I'm not sure if there's anything else up in the cupboard to eat...Anyways this week Aaron and I will be taking Ariebug to her first pumpkin patch in Muncy. I hope she's well behaved and picks out a pumpkin and hopefully I get some good pictures during that time <3 can't wait!
And since I have no friends on here I guess it's safe to say I found out a week ago that I am pregnant again. I'm waiting for my appointment tomorrow to confirm. The thing is I don't feel pregnant...pains here and there, maybe a little more eating than usual, and possibly peeing more but other than that nothing. And this time around I feel afraid something might happen -.- I don't even know why I guess I looked on google too many times and it's my fault. The thing with being rh negative and all that. But I can't wait to see what my official due date will be when I get my ultrasound done <3 my little baby nemo <3 although I won't be looking forward to the blood being drawn out (yuck) or the part where they make you starve a whole day and you have to take this nasty ass syrupy drink to test for gestational diabetes...or probably the part where no matter how many times I try to get comfortable in bed it just won't happen because of how big I am but other than that I can't wait for our 2nd baby to arrive <3 have to stay positive!
So I guess that's it! not much more to say since not much else is really going on. Might be a while before I get back on but oh well only time will tell with that. See you next time.

I don't even know. Bummed. Blah. Not wanting to go to bed. Thinking too much. Still sick.

08.09.2014

Aaron ordered my cheap opks so hopefully I figure out when I ovulate. Sucks that it's gonna be harder since I'm irregular. 35-40 day cycles are too much and it always varies from time to time. Yeeeah so good luck to me

Seriously

The discusion came up of my little brother's ex gf keana being a lesbian and my aunt connie was grossed out by it completely. Now I really do dislike keana but to be grossed out by lesbians is offensive....just her expression and her loud voice said it all. I'm not a lesbian but I am curious and I thought she was unbelievable and she would never support it. And my dad sides along with her too. My mom thinks its wrong too but I'm sure she'd get over it or not pay attention. It saddens me. All I know is if my kids are gay/lesbian/trans/bi I'd do nothing but support them and love them. Love is love and no one should be ashamed because one is not with the opposite gender and what not. Don't you love narrow minded people?

Am I stupid or what?

I'm to take 2 prenatels daily. I've only ever taken 1 a day. Oops!

toddler meal

Breakfast

• breast milk
• 1/2 of cheerios
• 1/3 cup of fruit
• 1/2 toast with butter or jelly

Snack

• 4 crackers
• cheese
• water

Lunch

• 1/2 sandwich with a slice of meat
• a vegetable 
• small oatmeal or coconut cookie
• water

Snack

• 1/2 sliced apple
• 1/2 cup of juice

Dinner

• Meat (2 oz) (2 oz is about the size of your child’s palm.)
• Vegetable (2 tablespoons)
• 1/3 cup of rice
• breast milk

Grocery List week 3

• sliced ham
• pulled pork
• crossants
• ranch chicken
• filled meat peppers
• meatloaf
• mashed potatoes
• spaghetti
• texas toast
• onion rings
• meatloaf
• ravioli 
• steamers
• rice cakes
• watermelon mixed fruit
• carrots with ranch
• greek yogurt

grocery list week 2

• steak
• potato wedges
• fried zucchini
• chicken roll ups
• perogies
• buttered noodles
• bbq sloppy joes
• hotdogs
• baked mac n cheese
• tacos
• meatloaf
• hamburger helper
• steamers
• cheetos
• strawberries
• cutie oranges
• greek yogurt
• nutrigrain/granola bars

Grocery List week 1

• pork chops
• mashed potatoes
• green beans
• chicken
• perogies
• rice
• sausages
• mac n cheese
• chili
• pizza
• chicken and dumpling (3 cans)
• viola steamers
• crackers
• cereal
• mixed fruit
• grapes
• greek yogurt
• drumsticks
• pudding
• coconut/oatmeal cookies

Had a dream bout dayles newborn.

22 month old update

A few new things
• knows where her eyes, nose, mouth, ears, teeth, chin, eyebrows, cheeks, butt, shoulders, tongue, nostrils, feet, toes, hands, fingers, arms, and elbows are
• can say meow, ow, eww, uh oh, dog, hi daddy, feet, key, keys, bad, papa, bird, and elbow
• throws things in trash and puts cardboard in recycle bin
• runs
• can now close her bedroom door (it's harder to pull shut than the other doors)
• yesterday while at my mom's we could of sworn she pointed to the bird in the cage and said daddy's name (Aaron) and I sworn while Aaron was at work she said my nicknames Don and Donnie. She got stuck on my full name though lol

That's it for now. Working on new words like sleepy, I love you, thank you, please, you're welcome, goodnight, etc.
We shall see if she has any new words or 2-3 word sentences. Hey maybe she'll surprise me and start speaking dead full on sentences by the time she's 2.5 years old lol :)

update (21 months old) Miss. Aaralyn

So 4 days ago my dear daughter turned 21 months old. I'm loving motherhood. Yes, it has its downs but it also has its ups too. I wouldn't trade anything for any of those moments. Here's more than a few things she can do or say

• She can speed walk
• She throws things away when asked to
• She can wave
• She can kiss
• She can blow raspberries
• She can hug
• She can pat backs
• She can dance
• She sings or hum in her case
• She loves R5
• She's ticklish
• She can say baby
• She can say happy
• She can say hey, hi, and hello
• She can say ma, mom, and mommy
• She can say da, dad, and daddy
• She can say meow
• She can say ow
• She can say ooh
• She can say bye and bye bye
• She can say I don't know and even does the gesture for it
• She can say dog
• She can say no and na
• She can say yes, yeah
• she can grab the remote and point to the tv to tell ya to turn it on
• She can tug on mom's shirt when she wants fed or for me to sit down
• She can say what
• She can say go
• She can say weee. normally says it when being picked up though
• She can point to her nose, head, eyes, mouth, and ears
• She is starting to say feet 
• Sips water and says Ahhh
• Can slide down a small slide
• Plays peek a boo
• Can do a hi-5
• And so much more!! :)

a small update on dear daughter

so far

• she can open the handle door knobs
• she can close the doors by the round door knobs
• she can say bye (a lot actually)
• she can stomp her feet and dance around in circles
• she is slowly starting to know where her eyes, nose, and mouth are (when I say nose I mean actually touching her tip of nose instead of picking it -.- lol)
• she needs her 2 year old molars
• plays peek a boo with the covers
• still is not a huge fan of eating food yet
• kisses her feet, her hands, her toys and such
• gives mommy and daddy a group hug
• favorite things to do are fake laugh, says oh boy, no and da a lot
• brings her foot up so you can put her socks and shoes on
• finally outgrowing her 18 month clothing ya know unless it's okie dokie brand cause let's face it that brand is 6 months bigger than what they say
• potty training is not going too well. she knows she needs to pee in it and will make the sound with her mouth but will walk right by it to pee somewhere on the floor -.- have to remember it's a progress
• still has those baby blues. sadly though I have a feeling they may change when she turns 4-5 years old but in the meantime we'll just have to enjoy them while they last

Not sure if I should remake my account

Okay, Okay I know for a fact I'll remake a tumblr. I'm just hesitating. My 1st tumblr I had for almost 2.5 years or so and my mumblr I had for almost 2 years I believe and I deleted both of them...including all of my side blogs. Bummed but I knew what I was doing. But I did it for the wrong reason. I only did it because I got so mad and frustrated and said fuck it all and wiped out my whole tumblr accounts. I even deactivated facebook and pinterest. Surprisingly kept instagram and blogger though. I even thought about deleting all of my email accounts or at least making myself almost non-existent since that night I felt like a complete and utterly shit mother. loooooong story but I don't know why I acted so ignorant. It'd be so much better if they made chill pills...I am in need of them often lately.
Anyways if I do make another tumblr I have to realize that deleting it after having it for a long time I should just go into hiatus mode instead of deleting. After all deleting accounts just because your mad at yourself or someone doesn't mean it'll make all your problems go away. Besides I like posting pics of my daughter on there and I like liking other cute babies and their days. I just wish people cared about how my days were; shitty or not. I want to be payed attention to just like those other mumblrs buuuut I guess if I were to be payed attention to that much I'd be in a no end drama blog for days and they'd probably talk about how wrong my parenting choices are and shit so I don't know it wouldn't kill someone to actually pay attention and be like a complete fan of my shit.
And if only they knew that I almost totally related to this girl on mumblr before she deleted for good. We were both bat shit crazy except I didn't show it all over the internet because unlike her I hate being judged too hardcore and I haven't smoked weed in ages now. Soooooo tumblr this week or next or still wait it out? hmmmm decisions, decisions...

Gah I hope no one I use to follow changes their url name by then. I'll be changing mine of course to something other than what I had but still. It'll be nice to follow some of my favorites...

At the park!

Yesterday

My dear daughter learned to turn the door handle completely. She is now able to go outside. At least halfway anyhow
But now I suppose we'll have to keep the door locked for safety reasons of course...

Carseat safety

I hate that 2 of my nieces and an acquaintance don't know the rules or law. Here in USA we use chest clips so when I see that the chrstt clip is clear to the bottom or the damn straps are too lose I get highly irritable. You use it for safety people not use it to your own liking. My niece lowered the chest piece to take a pic of her son but he was asleep so she probably drove like that. Why on earth would you lower it to take a pic!? He is just as cute with it in the right position! My other niece had her 3 year old son forward faced and the straps were completely loose around his arms...her daughter's chest clip was one tug away from being on her stomach! And the acquaintance her son's chest clip was down to the buckle and the straps were loose! Like wtf people!? What happens if you were to be in an accident and the reason your child was hurt or died was because of your stupidity of not buckling/adjusting your child in the carseat right? Exactly so get shit right! A parent would want their child safe while in the car! I wish I didn't know these people or even be related to them -.-

My 18 month old <3

Ah!

I cannot wait for the playdates at treasure castle this Thursday coming up!! Brit's, Christina's, and my kid. I just hope Aaralyn doesn't play the too shy and bashful card!

Souvenirs from my parent's cruise

I received 2 shirts, Aaralyn received 2 really cute dresses and fiance received a mug! Cool stuff right here!! Makes me wanna go to those places. Haha.

update on how we're doing with cloth diapers

Back in November Aaron and I ordered a couple of cloth diapers to see if we liked it. Well we liked it! I can now say we have 7 diapers altogether now. 2 kawaiis (which are sadly falling apart), 1 charlie banana, 2 thirsties duo wraps, softbums omni, and a best bottoms diaper. I have 17 prefolds altogether and only 5 or so inserts. It's pretty easy actually and you get use to cleaning the poop off. There are days were I'm just too lazy but it doesn't stop me from going back to disposables. It really does save us money!!!
And since we live in an apartment where a washer and dryer aren't available we recently bought a Wonderwash. I've had it for 3 days and I can say it does pretty good.
Now if only I could get a spin dryer so my diapers weren't soaked and I wouldn't have to wring them out by hand! that'd be awesome!

Wish all the luck for my little brother...

He and his girlfriend are 20 weeks pregnant. They found out it was a baby girl but also found out that her intestines are out of the stomach. I'm hoping it's nothing serious and wish nothing but the best of luck for them. I may really dislike his girlfriend, but I'm not that heartless. My great grandmother had a daughter born with an upside down stomach and died shortly to a few days later. I hope I never a day in my life have to deal with something so tragic with my children. It scares me that there could be a possibility of this or anything happening to my children. I guess I can only hope and pray that all of my kids are healthy.

Aaralyn is getting so big!

She's walking a little more each time. 6 hours ago I was telling her to walk to mommy and she kept standing up then she'd squat and laugh. It was a game for maybe 30 seconds to a minute but she finally decided she was going to walk to me. When she did walk to me I told her how proud I was and gave her kisses and clapped. I then moved to the other side of the room and just kept motivating her. She must've done it 50 times altogether! her biggest accomplishment was 15 steps without falling. It's exciting that she's learning and starting to do things on her own but it does sadden me; that she is truly growing up and becoming more independent.
Now when to find out when walking will be a breeze for her and when the true talking will begin! I'm kinda jealous that toddlers her age talk in sentences though and all she does it say dad, ma, mommy, no, uh oh, and yeah. the rest is just full blast babbling sentences *sigh* I have to be patient though, as I know in time she will know how to do it all and by that time I will just have to think I was silly to ever doubt any of it.

google is complicated when you forget a password and don't use the same mobile no. anymore...

talk about having a hard time remembering my password for my google account after a month of not using it! It took me forever but I finally figured it out. But it's what I get I suppose...